25 April 2015

I'm homesick for a place that just doesn't exist. My heart lies divided in two places. The place I grew up in, and the place I live in. They both hold memories dear to me. My childhood home holds my friends and my family. Those evenings we spent by the park, playing around the swings and talking about moments in our teenage lives. Those days spent watching movies around the dinner table, with a bowl of my mother's homemade chilli popcorn shared between my parents and I. Now my world holds the independence I always longed for, but never could find in that old hometown of mine. It comes with it's own structure and responsibilities - 
words my young teenage-self use to avoid like the plague. Instead of waiting for my mother's home made dinners, I create my own with recipes I've discovered on the internet. I make my own flavours with sauces and peppers from the local supermarket across the road. Life is different now. I love it. I do. But then ...

Then comes the feeling of nostalgia. Old friends and places I no longer can visit. Roads that use to be 10 minutes away - within the grasp of my feet - are now three hours away, down a long road which I can not follow. Going back wouldn't help - since people are scattered and following their own path miles away. So I look ahead and find unfamiliar but friendly faces to converse with and become companions on the journey ahead. We talk and we laugh - long hours into the night. With words spoken, and thoughts unsaid. Memories in the making, changing our statuses from acquaintances to friends over time. It does not replace, but it helps to erase, that lingering ghost that calls me to look upon my shoulder, at memories from years before. I still reminisce, but not as much as before. This place I'm living in is slowly becoming my home.

So torn between the world I live in and the world I grew up in. I'm missing a place that doesn't truly exist anymore. 
So I call up my friends in this new town I've been calling home, and decide to have a movie marathon till 2am to take away these home felt blues. And in those moments I know, it'll pass. As I look upon the faces of the people I have come to know, I feel a tenderness that can only be described as being home. And then I truly know. That one day, I no longer will be homesick. I'll just be content with this small little place I've come to live.

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Inspired by my own university experience, I decided to create something that was poetically reminiscent of that time frame of when you're in transition. That period of time, when you've moved to a new town - far from your hometown - and are being to create a new life there.  Even if you haven't experienced it just yet, you may do some day. Weather it's for university, a job in a foreign city, or maybe you'll be married and moved to a different country.  It's human nature to look back over our shoulders at the past, whilst still trying to creating memories and moments in the present. Who knows maybe you can relate?

I hope you enjoy it! Any thoughts?

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