Showing posts with label Personal Experience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal Experience. Show all posts
I'll let you in on a little secret that I don't think I've told anyone before. Well, until now that is. Every year on my birthday, I take some time out of my day to reflect. I reflect on the achievements I've accomplished over the past year, mourn the loses that change brings and prepare for the year ahead. It's almost like a tradition - pre new year. So in celebration of my birthday this past weekend, I wanted to just take some time and reflect.
Let me take you back in time to last year. I was fresh out of university with my newly qualified degree, ready to take on my next new adventure. I had just taken up a new full-time position to support my future endeavours, and was actively pursuing my personal and career ambitions. But like many who leave university, I was still figuring out all the pieces of the missing puzzle. I felt so overwhelmed by the culture shock of no longer holding the title of student, and the life that came with it. I had no clue how things would be in the next couple of months, let alone a year. But despite all that, this past year - no matter how puzzling it seemed to be - has been one of the most enriching experiences I've had in my life. Though nothing went according to plan, everything worked out for the best. Life gave me what I needed - nothing more and nothing less. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself that ...
Dear Kate and Chris,
You may remember we meet almost two weeks ago on your UK Tour round the country. I can only imagine how many people you've seen and come across, who've gushed their happiness and delight to finally have the pleasure of meeting you. Just like I did. There was so much I didn't get to say in those short minutes with you, so I figured I would write you a letter to put everything into immortal words here on the internet.
First of all, you both performed incredibly. You took my breath away from the moment you sung with such passion and raw emotion. Gabrielle Ross was an incredible act who prep the stage for you, with her sassy vocals and glittery make-up. Tyler - I loved how you combined the old with the new. I found myself moved beyond words as you murmured the lyrics to 'This Is Where My Heart Breaks', and yet moments later, I was jiving along to Loaded Gun. The fact that you could create such an upbeat atmosphere, and alter towards a sombre mood so swiftly and gently was beautiful. One of my favourite memories during your set was singing along with you to Missing You. Never in my wildest teenage dreams did I ever think something like this could ever happen! Combining the nostalgia with a fresh hint of new flavour definitely left me in awe of your musical ability, and pretty jealous in fact. Thank you for entertaining me with your story about bouncy castles in Glasglow as well. Who doesn't love a good anecdote between songs?
Kate, I remember spending my afternoons listening religiously to your song tracks, and just falling in love with every inch of your lyrics. They were the soundtrack to my summer nights and winter walks. Your breathtaking rendition of 'Hallelujah' was the first I attached myself too, and when you play it that night - it somehow took me back to those very moments of my teen years. Then, when you sung, 'It's Only Life', I found myself moved beyond words. The emotion you portrayed just took me to another world, and moved me to tears. I will definitely treasure that video I recorded most when life hits me hard - as it usual does. Secretly, I do wish you had played 99 Times, No Good and I Don't Wanna Be - maybe you could next time?
You both were a huge part of my growing up. You are my childhood, teenhood and adulthood all rolled into one. You were part of the movement that inspired me. I can't believe I was blessed with the opportunity to see you perform live - how electric! And also to meet you. Words can't even describe how I feel about that moment. I only wish it could have been longer. There is no community like One Tree Hill - thank you for being an integral party of that. Thank gosh Tyler, you are no Chris Keller in real life. No matter how charmingly hilarious he is on screen, your lovely nature and personality are a pleasure to be around and witness.
The truth is One Tree Hill like for so many other people out there was my guide. It taught me the beauty of true friends, facing the struggles of relationships and life to get to the bright side of the rainbow. It taught me how to become stronger, when the entire world seems to be pushing you down. That night, I began to fall in love with One Tree Hill all over again as you revived those memories through your songs. As you sang 'Missing You' Tyler, Naley played in my head. As you Kate played It's Only Life, I vividly recall thinking this was the song that always encouraged me to take risks and pick myself up after the hard pitfalls of life. It was wonderful to be reminded of that message after all these years. I wish I could put into words how much that night meant. Tree Hill truly is my home, and you brought it to life centre stage.
They say that the best things in life are the most unexpected and they were right. I wasn't sure until six hours before the concert that I would get to be a part of that crowd that cheered you on, and I was. It was an absolute pleasure, and I can't wait until the next time we meet! Until then, I will keep replaying those memories through the videos on my phone, and pray that some day soon I may be blessed with the opportunity to see you again.
With All My Love,
Fatema
When I was younger, I was never really fond of reading. That may surprise you considering how I regularly post about novels and book signings. Believe me, I tried. I just could never find the right book that peeked my interest. My parents tried hard too - taking me to the library every Saturday, and asking the librarian to help find books of interest. But no matter what I read, I did not care of the stories I was reading, or the characters in these books.
In hindsight this lack of interest probably had more to do with the fact that, all the books I read were written in third person narrative. I've always preferred an much more intimate personal connection to others - a first person narrative, which is probably why those books I read never appealed to me. Somewhere along the way I just gave up. It just wasn't for me. Well ... just then anyway.
I'm homesick for a place that just doesn't exist. My heart lies divided in two places. The place I grew up in, and the place I live in. They both hold memories dear to me. My childhood home holds my friends and my family. Those evenings we spent by the park, playing around the swings and talking about moments in our teenage lives. Those days spent watching movies around the dinner table, with a bowl of my mother's homemade chilli popcorn shared between my parents and I. Now my world holds the independence I always longed for, but never could find in that old hometown of mine. It comes with it's own structure and responsibilities - words my young teenage-self use to avoid like the plague. Instead of waiting for my mother's home made dinners, I create my own with recipes I've discovered on the internet. I make my own flavours with sauces and peppers from the local supermarket across the road. Life is different now. I love it. I do. But then ...
Then comes the feeling of nostalgia. Old friends and places I no longer can visit. Roads that use to be 10 minutes away - within the grasp of my feet - are now three hours away, down a long road which I can not follow. Going back wouldn't help - since people are scattered and following their own path miles away. So I look ahead and find unfamiliar but friendly faces to converse with and become companions on the journey ahead. We talk and we laugh - long hours into the night. With words spoken, and thoughts unsaid. Memories in the making, changing our statuses from acquaintances to friends over time. It does not replace, but it helps to erase, that lingering ghost that calls me to look upon my shoulder, at memories from years before. I still reminisce, but not as much as before. This place I'm living in is slowly becoming my home.
So torn between the world I live in and the world I grew up in. I'm missing a place that doesn't truly exist anymore. So I call up my friends in this new town I've been calling home, and decide to have a movie marathon till 2am to take away these home felt blues. And in those moments I know, it'll pass. As I look upon the faces of the people I have come to know, I feel a tenderness that can only be described as being home. And then I truly know. That one day, I no longer will be homesick. I'll just be content with this small little place I've come to live.
* * * * *
Inspired by my own university experience, I decided to create something that was poetically reminiscent of that time frame of when you're in transition. That period of time, when you've moved to a new town - far from your hometown - and are being to create a new life there. Even if you haven't experienced it just yet, you may do some day. Weather it's for university, a job in a foreign city, or maybe you'll be married and moved to a different country. It's human nature to look back over our shoulders at the past, whilst still trying to creating memories and moments in the present. Who knows maybe you can relate?
I hope you enjoy it! Any thoughts?
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