Rest In Peace, My Dear Friend

10 April 2017

Speechless is how you left me. One hundred and sixty-eight hours later and I'm still struggling to find words to explain, to comfort, to process. My mind won't let me believe you no longer exist in the same universe; that we no longer breathe the same air.  

I'm tongue-tied and teary eyed even thinking about you now. You were a breath of fresh air in a world filled with obstacles and sugarcoated dialogue. With no filter holding you back, you told it like it was. Straight up and forward with no icing layered in between. Like no one else I ever met, you had a way with words and sharp tongue that could bring the ultimate sass to any comeback. Strangers may have thought you to be harsh, but we who knew you knew better. Hidden behind the blunt truth was a heart of gold that shone so brightly and so beautifully.  

The lack of your presence on this universe ripples across ocean waves. You are unforgettable and irreplaceable. The universe is not the same without you. Though you're returned to the universal atmosphere, your essence lingers in the in-between whilst me and your nearest and dearest share our fondest memories of you.

We laugh at your stupidity and then our own. We smile at things that remind us of you. Those battered up converse sneakers, that long curly brown hair, that black leather jacket draped across your chair.  Sharing memories like picking biscuits from a cookie jar, we eagerly exchange stories. As we speak we begin to notice the random quirks you had, things we noticed but never voiced out loud. Our eyes light up with understanding and we find ourselves giggling hard. Too hard. And then just as it started, our laughter fades into the darkness. Our eyes filled with regretful understanding and a longing to return to what was. 

Though you aren't near anymore, we keep you near in our hearts and pray that one day when we met again you'll be smiling across the border as if to say,
'Hello friend, you made it to the land of clarity and freedom. I left you so quickly and I'm sorry for that. I had no idea how much I meant to you, and now I wish to tell you how you impacted me. What your presence in my life meant to me truly."
We'll sit down next to the river and just talk. You'll share stories that remind you of us, and we'll laugh like we always did.

Not a day goes by where you don't cross my mind. There's so much I wish I could have told you. So many moments we had yet to share, but I'm grateful to have known you.

I miss you my dear friend. Until we met again. 

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